Back in January 2014 my world was tipped upside down when my marriage ended I suddenly felt lost and I didn't know what to do. Would I be able to cope living on my own? Would I cope looking after Thomas on my own? Could I run a house on my own? I felt completely lost and overwhelmed.

Soon I began to realise that I have actually been doing the majority of the things myself anyway apart from paying the bills, How hard could it be?

There was one night shortly after the split that still sticks in my mind now. I was giving Thomas a bath when he pooped in the bath so I had to take him out to clean up and re run the bath when he ran off and did another poop on the landing so I put him back in the bathroom and held him over the toilet to see if there was any more to come. I then took Thomas off the toilet when he pooped again on the floor and stood in it. Yup and trud it in to the bath mat. I got another bath run cleaned up everywhere and then sat outside the bathroom and cried, I cried because I felt so alone, I cried because I had to deal with this on my own. Thomas called for his mama so I dried my eyes and went back in to the bathroom and saw my cheeky little boy smiling up at me and I thought to myself "Why are you crying? If I was still with Thomas's dad he probably wouldn't have been there anyway I would have still had to deal with it myself. I can do this, I can deal with whatever shit comes my way... quite literally."

This year also saw me return to full time work which along with solo parenting felt like a lot to take on but I am so glad I did. I actually like being at work full time because I get the extra adult conversation. Even though I am now in another relationship I don't get to see James every night so it's nice to get adult conversation in the day I think it actually stops me from going mad. I am also glad I work full time again because I hope one day when Thomas is grown up he is proud of his mama for doing what she can to make sure he never goes without.

Although I haven't been completely on my own this year I have an amazing family behind me who support me every step of the way and I have James and Thomas too who keep me happy and smiling. I am still proud of myself at how well I have handled this year, things can only get better onwards and upwards.

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2014 has been a bit of a funny old year for me right at the beginning of the year I made the decision to go back to work full time so I knew that blogging would have to slow down and bit and I wouldn't be able to carry on with posting every single day like I was doing back in 2013 but I wanted to carry on with blogging because it's something that I loved. I soon found that sitting in front of the computer 5 days a week I simply didn't feel like coming home switching the laptop on and sitting their blogging all night. Plus not having the 2 days a week with Thomas I wanted to spend my evenings and weekends doing as much as I could with Thomas to make up for working full time again.

When I split up with Thomas's dad I just couldn't face blogging at all, I couldn't face reading blogs and seeing every bodies "perfect" lives so I think I went quite a few months with only posting 2 or 3 blog posts. After having a long break like that it's very hard to try and get your motivation back again.

Through out the year I kept having spurts of blogging and getting back on track and then drifting off again. Trying to spread your time between a full time job, a toddler, a new boyfriend and running a house on your own and unfortunately blogging definitely takes a back seat. I just haven't felt like my heart hasn't been in my blog at all and that makes me kinda disappointed in myself.

I don't want to stop blogging as I do really enjoy it but I do need to take more time for blogging and that is exactly what I want to do in 2015 I want to spent at least a couple of nights a week blogging and researching new posts and reading and commenting on other blogs so that I can try and grow my blog again and grow my love for my blog again. 
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 2014 was a bit of a meh year for blogging if I am honest I wont go over all of my excuses again but I know that I need to try much harder in 2015 in order to get myself back to where I was towards the end of 2013. I don't want blogging to become a chore for me like it has felt this year, I want to go back to enjoying it like I use to. I need to start making more time for my blog again, I have quite a few nights to myself which I just waste watching tele or catching up on my Youtube subscriptions where a better use of my time would be to spend a couple of hours blogging or reading through the blogs I love or coming up with ideas for new blog posts.

I also need to get ahead with scheduling my posts again I use to always have around 10 posts scheduled at a time when I was really busy and I would love to have the time to get that organised again next year. I really need to get more motivated on the photography front again, these dark nights are killing me when I am in the mood to actually sit down and write a post I get demotivated again when I think that I will have to wait until the following weekend to actually take the photos to go with the posts so I think what's the point I might as well wait to write the post too.

That is completely the wrong attitude to take, instead I am going to try my hardest to plan posts as far in advance as I can so that I know what photographs I need to take each weekend and that way hopefully I wont get too stuck for photos again.

Fall back in love with Twitter again - throughout 2013 I was obsessed with Twitter I checked and tweeted umpteen times a day and I found it a brilliant way to connect with other bloggers and build up nice little friendships and also it was a way to get to know brands. Now I can go days without even looking at Twitter and I should imagine the people I also to talk to daily think I have fallen off the face of the earth.

 All in all I would like to get my blog off the ground again and in the direction it was before my name change as that was a major set back for me.
Christmas gets better with each year when you have young children, each year they start to understand a little more. Last year I don't think Thomas had much of a clue what Christmas was all about but this year he recognized more and learnt more about Christmas. We watched lots of Christmas films in the run up to Christmas and Thomas understood more who Santa was and what the purpose of Santa is.

This year we left a mince pie, a cup of milk and a carrot out for Santa and Rudolph although Thomas seemed a little confused about this stranged who would be coming in to our house and helping himself to food.
We sprinkled Reindeer food outside on our drive so that the Reindeer would see it and it would guide the sleigh in. We also watched Santa fly over on his way to other boys and girls who were already asleep (The ISS)

 When I took Thomas to bed we put his stocking up so Santa could leave him some presents in his bedroom in the morning. Thankfully we are still at the stage where Thomas doesn't get excited about Santa actually coming and Thomas doesn't get up too early so James and I were actually up before him. Thomas came padding in to my bedroom with Peppa, George and Olaf but he hadn't noticed his stocking so I asked him to go and check in his room if Santa had left him anything in his stocking and he had!

 Thomas opened his stocking presents upstairs and instantly fell in love with 2 little buses he had in his stocking, we struggled to get him to open anything else after that and he just wanted to play with his buses. When we went downstairs Thomas looked very surprised to see a big pile of presents waiting for him under the tree and we sat down and began to open them but Thomas is still at the stage where he wants to open everything as soon as he unwraps so it took us a little coaxing to get him to open all his presents.

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 We had a couple of hours where Thomas could play with his new toys before we had to leave to go round my nans house for the annual gift exchange. We go round my nans every Christmas morning and we have done for as long as I can remember to see my aunties and uncle and cousins and exchange presents but I mostly look forward to the sausage rolls my nan cooks every year and we fill our faces with them as it's normally quite a wait until lunch time.

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 We made our way round my dads house where we had a lovely Christmas dinner, I even learnt how to make napkin crowns with a little help from Youtube. Thomas knew straight away what it was
meant to be and put it on his head.

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 After we were completely stuffed after lunch we opened presents listened to Christmas songs, watched Thomas play and he learnt how to use his new scooter he had off his great gran. Then sipped mulled wine, champagne and had one to many After 8 mints and watched Arthur Christmas for the
umpteenth time this year, I really do love that film!

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 Thomas had a truly lovely day and lasted until after 10pm with no nap and lots of excitement and playing before he finally crashed and fell asleep on my knee, it was the perfect end to a lovely day.
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 Today I thought I would share with you a Slimming World speed soup recipe which has fast become my favourite soup over recent weeks, which if you look at the ingredients you will probably think it will taste awful but it's actually really yummy.

 Ingredients 
2 cans of chopped tomatoes
1 can of baked beans
1 can of mixed bean salad
1/2 can of green lentils
2 leeks
1 small onion
1 chopped pepper, colour of your choice
1 pint of chicken stock
Flavourings of your choice, I like to add chilli powder to give the soup a little kick and to make it a bit more interesting.

 To make the actual soup it's easy peasy just add everything to a big saucepan I have to use the biggest I have and then just simmer, not boil everything until it is cooked through and then I blend using a hand blender.

This makes a heck of a lot of soup, I find I can make enough for 5 days at work so you could perhaps half the recipe if you didn't want to make quite that much. Don't knock this soup until you have tried it, it really is good.
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I can't believe how quickly Christmas has crept up on us this year. I have actually impressed myself the majority of my Christmas presents have been bought and wrapped already, There are just a couple of little bits and bobs that I need to get last minute kinda things. One of which is getting this photo of Thomas printed out and framed for family members. 
Yes I am now one of those people that will be giving photos as gifts from now on but when you have a photo that cute you just have to share it don't you.
Thomas and I were very pleased to be chosen to take part in the 12 days of Christmas Snowman and Snow dog blog tour. So here we are today on the penultimate day of the blog tour with a lovely little puppet book to share with you.

I have mentioned many times before that I love these types of puppet books to ready with little ones as I think they really help you to make the story come alive in little minds and it really helps to keep your child interested in the book you are reading.

I am a big fan of the short Snowman film and as far as i'm concerned it's not Christmas without watching it at least once. So this year I have also bought Thomas the snowman film for his Christmas eve basket. So I haven't actually shown Thomas this book yet as I am going to save it for Christmas eve.

I really do love this book, it is a nice chunky board book perfect for little hands to turn the pages with ease.

The pages are filled with beautiful illustrations and a nice simple story for your little one to follow with you. I just love the little snow dog finger puppet too, I am sure Thomas will be the one controlling the little snow dog with his little finger.



Tomorrow the blog tour is ending over at Mother Geek's blog so I would love it if you could pay her a visit.

Earlier in the year I bought myself my first couple of Bourjois nail polishes and I was really impressed with them so when I spotted 3 for 2 on all make up items in Boots recently I picked up another colour as part of the 3.

I wanted a nice glossy berry colour that was perfect for this type of year so I chose "Fushia Hype" The name doesn't really scream Autumn/ Winter more like Summer. The actual shade of the nail varnish is quite a deep pink/ berry colour which I love.



I love the consistency of Bourjois nail polishes they just go on like a dream and they only take 2 coats to leave a really gorgeous glossy colour to your nails. For £5.99 I think they are quite a reasonable price. I don't normally like spending much on nail polish as I don't really see the point so these are probably the most expensive nail polishes I would buy, I will definitely be picking more colours up soon.