Tomorrow you turn 2
My squishy little baby will be 2
The days just zoom by in a blur yet it feels like only yesterday I was in the hospital 
awaiting your arrival.
I remember your birth so clearly like it has only just happened.
The panic that you caused, we should have guessed right from the start you would be a handful.

Your 2nd birthday seems to have come around even quicker than your 1st
I guess because such a lot has happened in your 2nd year, not all of it has been good
but I hope it has still been a happy year for you.

Happy Birthday my beautiful boy

For the past couple of months I have been questioning what to do with my surname and I just can't make my mind up on what to do. Now that I am separated from my ex-husband it feels wrong to keep his surname, I am no longer part of his family and I no longer want to be associated with him. I feel like for as long as I have his surname there is still a connection there a connection that I no longer want.

I keep going over the idea in my head of going back to my maiden name, my real surname, the name I was born with. The only thing stopping me at the moment is Thomas and the fact I will never have the same surname as him again and that makes me sad he's my son and I want us to have the same surname. I feel silly for feeling sad about it though because there are thousands if not millions of mothers who don't have the same surname as their children it's not like it is some awfully bad thing just something that I didn't want.

My next thought is even if I do keep my surname the same as Thomas there may come a day when I remarry and of course my surname would then change if I have more children in the future and we all have a different surname to Thomas and this also makes me sad but does this even matter? Does it matter that Thomas and I have different surnames, it doesn't make any difference really does it? I'm still his mum and nothing will ever change that

I've had people suggesting making Thomas's surname double barreled but if you knew what his surname would be you would know that would be cruel on the poor boy and plus one day I might not have my maiden name again which would leave us with different surnames anyway.

I'm pretty much decided on changing my name back to my maiden name I just guess the next question is when do I change it by deed poll or wait until I get divorced and change it back then.

Let me just start by saying that admitting that you want/ need a break from time to time does not make you a bad mum. It seems that some see admitting you want a night off from looking after your child is a bad thing but it isn't. Being a parent is bloody hard work at times, you are on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year. Throw in being the primary carer for my son and working full time and I'm exhausted, people with more than one child I take my hat off to you because I don't think I could cope.

Now Thomas's dad and I have split up I am going to have to get use to spending more and more time away from Thomas as he is going to have to spend time with his dad obviously.  The first afternoon he spent with his dad I cried when I watched him get in to the car with his dad I'm not really sure why I guess it was because that's when it dawned on me that Thomas is going have to start splitting his time between both parents and soon he was going to be spending nights and weekends and maybe even a week away from me at some point if his dad decides to take him on holiday and that is just something I am going to have to get use to.

Thomas has recently started staying his dads house on Friday nights and I'm not afraid to admit I like it. I like not worrying about having one glass of wine too many and I love being able to have a lie in on a Saturday morning after a week of 6am starts. I also enjoy being able to go shopping on my own on a Saturday because Thomas has turned in to a typical male and cannot stand going shopping anymore he hates being in his pushchair for any length of time and gets very restless very quickly. And if I fancy it I can have a long hot bath in the middle of the afternoon.

I find just having that little bit of time to myself once a week leaves me feeling so refreshed and I feel ready to deal with Thomas again if he has been especially hard work that week. I enjoy being able to have a bit of me time because lets face it we all need some pamper time every once in a while don't we?