How often did you change your mind about your career choices when you were little? We all wanted to be teachers and nurses or vets but what if you are nearing your mid twenties and you still don't know what you want to do? I still change my mind like the weather about that sort of career I want. I know I want a career and not just a job.

I want to do something that I love, something that I don't mind getting out of bed for, something that pays the bills with a little extra each month. I've even been through a phase of wanting to blog full time but I don't think that will ever happen for me.

I have always felt like my life has no direction on the job front and I hate that I don't know what I want to do I'm the future. I keep thinking how can I encourage Thomas to follow his dreams and to find his dream career when I can't even do that as his mum?  Although I do hope by then I am in a job I love because that will be about 20 years away!

One career that has been in my mind for quite a few years now is to be a social worker but its just finding the route there. I can't afford college courses and that sort of job is one that you need some sort of qualifications for so I guess that's out of the picture for a while until I go back to work full time.

Are you in your dream job? Do you even know what your dream job is yet?
I could have done a wishlist of all the things I want but that is mostly house things at the minute and I thought I would give it a rest on the homewear front for a little bit so I thought I would make a list of all the things I am hoping to get for Thomas for Christmas.




 I had better start saving my pennies hadn't I? I'm not sure whether the Toot Toot train tracks will be a bit much for him at the moment or maybe wait until his birthday. I also want to get him a few little bits and bobs but I'm not really sure yet.


My Daddyo
I have always been a daddy's girl and always will be.
My dad is a hardworking man and I have always been proud of him,
growing up I heard a lot of people moaning about their dad's who were never around.
I feel so lucky that I have a dad who has always been there, who always puts his children first
Who has worked all his life to provide for us.

Even now I have left home I know my dad is always there for me
He will always help us out if we need it. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him during quite a few parts of my life.

I also admire what a great grandad he is, I love watching him and Thomas play
He teaches him so much and I love it when Thomas toddles over to him just to sit on his knee for a cuddle.
He loves his grandad as much as I love my daddo

Obviously the best day of my life has got to be the day I gave birth to my beautiful boy.
The day my life changed forever
It changed for the better.
I fell head over heals in love.
A boy stole my heart
I became a mum
I became responsible for another life



This is probably one of the only quotes that really sticks in my mind. We all go through crappy times in life, there will be times when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Those times in your life will pass eventually and things will start to look up for you.

I think this will be the next tattoo I get I know everybody and their mum has probably got this tattoo but I don't care
I started this blog for the simple reason to give me something to do when I started my maternity leave whilst I was waiting for Thomas to arrive. I wanted my blog to be my own little place on the internet somewhere to record our lives and document Thomas growing.
My blog gives me somewhere to babble and get my thoughts down and sometimes vent when I need to.

I think I also started to blog as a way to make friends and to meet people to talk to when I was on maternity leave and I have "met" some fab people who I speak to pretty much daily and more than "real life" friends. I have even met a whole load of bloggers at a local meet up that I went to at the beginning of the year and then of course I met a LOT of bloggers at BritMums



“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
― George Bernard Shaw

Our family is currently undergoing quite a few changes in the next couple of months, we have just bought ourselves a new car which we have needed and next month we are moving house which I am so unbelievable excited for. I love a nice change, change is good who wants to stand still? Who wants to moan about things not being how you want when you don't want to do anything about it?

We are also thinking about another major change in our family, yes we are thinking about adding to our little family of three. Some people may think why so soon after Thomas but he would be nearly 2 and I think it would be the right sort of age gap for us. We want our children to be quite close in age not just for the reason that they will be happy playing with each other and their toys but it makes financial sense to us as it means I will be able to go back full time sooner that waiting say 8 years.

I keep thinking about what it would be like when our family changes to a family of 4, another child to love and cherish, a little brother or sister for Thomas, What would he be like with this new little person coming in to our family? That makes me a little nervous how will Thomas take it? I guess it will be hard to begin with but I think he will get use to it and I think he will be a fab big brother I can just imagine him bringing me nappies and wipes when I ask and being a big boy.

I can't wait who knows this time next year we could be living in our new home as a family of 4.
I've heard a lot about toddler tantrums in the past, you know the "terrible twos" and thought it can't be that bad and I was sure that most of it was just people exaggerating. That however was until I experienced my first proper tantrum!

I don't even know what started Thomas's tantrum he had woken up and I think he just decided to be in a mad mood and started to cry so I tried to pick him up but he didn't want his mummy so he pushed himself off my knee and turned his tantrum up a notch and started to scream. When I realised I couldn't comfort him because he didn't want to know I just put him on the floor where he continued to scream and started thrashing around so I moved anything he could hurt himself on out of the way and put cushions in front of the mantle so he couldn't hit himself on it.

After a couple of minutes I tried to comfort Thomas again which was not what he wanted and he started to hit me to try and get away from me so back on the floor he went and I sat near him on the floor and I just kept saying to him in a soft voice that I was ready for a cuddle when he had finished and I think me being nice to him just annoyed him more as that's when he started to throw anything he could find whilst rolling around on the floor and he scream had gone from a high pitched scream to a dry throat-ed noise.

After about 10 minutes it was like something left his body and he started to calm down and finally let me give him a cuddle and then decided he would eat his tea that I had made him after all. So I put him in his high chair and fed him a couple of spoons of his tea and then left him to it and then this was the face I got.

Thomas had completely forgotten about the mini breakdown and was completely full of cuteness and was back to being my best friend again.

If that was what the terrible twos are going to be like..... give me my baby back....I mean bring it on!
I've only made real promises on two occasions in my life and one was my wedding day I made promises to my husband, promises that are not to be taken lightly promises that I hope I can keep for the rest of my life not just for mine and Davids sake but for Thomas's sake. I want him to have the happy nuclear family life that I didn't. When my parents divorced I wouldn't say that it ruined my life, far from it but it definitely didn't make things easy. Birthday parties or family gatherings there was always friction especially when my parents future parents got involved. Even my wedding day certain people couldn't put their own differences to one side for a day so I promise not only to David but to Thomas that I will try my hardest for this to not happen.


The day Thomas was born I made a promise to him to be the best mum I can be, To love him as much as I possibly can, To keep him safe and to make him happy and to give him the best childhood and life that I can because that is what he deserves.

 


This is my all time favourite book and only book I have read more than once. It's a beautiful love story by one of my favourite authors. In case you haven't heard about The Notebook it tells the story of a couples love story as told by the husband and you later find out it was written because his wife has Alzheimer's and he reads her their love story everyday in the hope that one day she remembers their life together. It has also been made in to a film but I strongly recommend that you read the book first 
Going back to work after maternity leave hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be, after the first couple of days when Thomas had settled in at nursery and I had settled back in to work we kinda fell in to a routine which we both like. Thomas absolutely loves nursery it couldn't be better each morning he literally struggles to get out of his car seat as quick as he can because he knows where we are. As soon as we get in to his room he's trying to get out of my arms before I've even finished taking his coat off and he walks straight to the toys or if he's hungry that morning he makes his way over to the table and sits himself on a chair. I go to work knowing Thomas is happy, I know he's being well looked after and knowing he is having lots of fun playing with his little friends.

I've never once felt guilty about going back to work, I've never missed out on anything in Thomas's development he was sitting up, crawling and pulling himself up before I went back to work I didn't miss his first steps his daddy and I were there to witness them, we heard his first word. If anything I feel like I am witnessing a lot more since Thomas has been at nursery because he is doing a lot more with the things he is learning at nursery. I'm stunned almost daily when he comes home and I notice him doing something new.

I also feel that for me the work/home balance is good at the moment, I only work 3 days a week and I'm with Thomas the rest, I always said that I don't want to be seeing the people at work more than I see my son. I get to have a couple of days with adult conversation and a little break from dirty nappies and I each night I go home with an excited feeling in my stomach because I am going to see my baby again. It also means Thomas gets a break from mummy he gets to spend time with different people and he learns how to socialise and make friends, and every night I am greeted with a big smile and open arms when he spies me through the nursery window.

The occasional morning when Thomas is poorly I feel like the worst mum in the world when I have to take him to nursery because I have to go work. I hate having to get him dressed when he doesn't want to when all he wants to do is lay on the settee. All I want to do is spend the day with him on my knee or cuddled up in bed with him so that I can make him feel better with mummy cuddles.

This is the time when I feel guilty about going to work and having to take Thomas to nursery. I'm his mum I should be at home looking after him when he's poorly, I should be the one who is cheering him up and making him feel better but I can't because I have to go to work. I wish I had the type of job where I could work from home on days like this but I don't. Obviously if Thomas was really poorly I wouldn't go to work but on the days he's just a little offside I still feel terrible for leaving him. I guess the only answer to this is to make sure that we make the most of our night together and I give Thomas extra big cuddles to make sure he is feeling better.
This summer Thomas became a dare devil, he found his feet and went off exploring and generally doing what little boys like to.



Summer has been pretty short lived this year as it is most years in England but what made our summer special was it was our first holiday as a family and one that I will remember and treasure for ever
I thought it would be a nice idea to share my favourite blogs as part of my blog everyday in August series. So in no particular order we have...














I apologise for the fact I can't count but I just couldn't miss any of these out so please go check them out.
For Thomas's first birthday we bought him the Vtec Toot Toot drivers garage. I had been wanting to get Thomas a garage and some cars of some description for a while as a toy that would last him and that he wouldn't grow out of too quick. I had settled on the Toot Toot Garage after seeing one of my friends had got her little boy who is a couple of months older than Thomas one for his birthday and she highly recommended it and said that he son love playing with it. So my mind was made up and I decided to get it for Thomas's birthday.

The garage itself comes with one car and you can buy other cars either separately or in packs of three so I decided to get him a pack of three to go with it as I saw them on sale at the time.


I love the size of the cars they are nice and chunky for little hands and you don't have to worry about any little parts coming off. Each of the cars play different song which before long you will be signing along too like any other childrens toy. I often find myself at work humming the tune of "I love driving on the road toot toot beep beep" and "I'm a truck a little truck, I'm busy delivering goods"



Each of the cars interact with the garage when you run them over certain things for example when they go down the ramp they say weee or if they go through the car wash then it plays water sounds. As well as this there are also various buttons you can press on the garage that play different tunes or say different things.
The garage as a whole is really well made and very toddler friendly. I was actually impressed at how strong it is as Thomas sometimes likes to sit on it if he decides he needs a rest and there isn't anywhere else he could possibly sit.

One of the things I also like about the Toot Toot range is that you can buy different add on bits which I think I will be getting Thomas for Christmas so you keep it new and enjoyable for toddlers to play with so they don't get bored of it.
We often spend our lives wanting and wishing for something better, we are always wanting something we can't have. Whether it be better clothes, a better car, a better house, more money, I'm guilty of this all the time it seems like everyday I'm wanting something better. It's not just for me though I want these better things for my family, I want a better house so Thomas can have a garden to play with, I want a better car so that we feel safer on the roads. We often forget about what is right under our noses and we can often take things for granted that we should treasure.

So today I am sharing what I am truly thankful for.



Above all else I am truly thankful for my beautiful healthy son, he makes life worth living, he is the reason that I wake up smiling each morning whether it be 6am or 8am when I hear him chatting to himself it instantly puts a smile on my face. Thomas is my instant mood lifter I love how at 14months he already knows how to make mummy laugh and smile, he does the most adorable things simply because he knows it makes me smile. I'm truly thankful for the magical bond we have.

I am thankful for my husband yes we may get on each others nerves at times and he isn't a great help with the housework but most importantly he loves Thomas and I. We had a husband/daddy that pulls 50+ hour weeks pretty much week in week out to provide for us and never complains about going to work. When I see some men who just couldn't give a damn about their families and they can't be bothered to work to provide for their children I just think we are so lucky to have David.

I am so thankful for my wider family, my dad and mum, sister, brother, grandparents, Davids family and so on. I know if we ever need help one of our family would go out of their way to help us out, I know we can rely on anyone of them. I know we are so lucky to have them all.

This is one of my favourite photos from our wedding as it's our "we have a secret" photo at this moment in time only a handful of people knew about our secret, not many people knew that Thomas was growing in my belly. I love David resting his hand on my belly because he knows, I love that my little family is in this photo.

It's mad to think Thomas was there with us on our wedding day and the fact it was our secret just makes it so much more special. I could never have imagined the joy and happiness he would bring us
The favourite part of my day has to be when the clock turns 5:00 on work days, I still get that excited feeling in my tummy when I know I'm on my way to pick up my baby from nursery. I love the look in his eyes when he sees me walk through the door and how he runs over to me with his arms in the air. I know he probably hasn't given me a second thought all day but for a couple of minutes it makes me feel missed.

My favourite part of everyday is when I go and get Thomas from his cot. I am greeted by the most beautiful smile and arms in the air waiting for me to pick him up. It makes my day before it's even started.


My something beautiful today has got to be my new look blog. As my blog is like my second baby I thought it was about time it was treated to a whole new look. The design before was a mish mash of what I had tried to do myself but always looked a bit blah if I'm honest, so I sent out a tweet looking for some help and the wonderful Jessica came to my rescue.

I sent her a rather rambled email of what I was hoping for and was half expecting her to be like what? but she took everything in what I had said I kept me up to date with how she was getting on and sent me some little tasters with how things were looking.



When she had finished she installed the layout on my blog for me too. I absolutely love the whole look of my blog again it is completely how I wanted it she is just fab. If you are thinking about having your blog re-designed I can highly recommend Jessica so check out her design page on her blog jmariesharp.blogspot.co.uk
 I'd had my eye on the Urban Decay Naked Flushed palette since it came out but I'd never been able to justify the £20 I know it's not much in comparison to some products but something has always come in the way so when the lovely Hannah was selling it I jumped at the chance to buy it off her.



I have fallen in love with it already! The shades seem perfectly suited to my colouring, The bronzer is a nice medium brown colour so it doesn't look too dark on pale skin and I also like the fact that it's matt as I don't like shimmery bronzers as I think they can look a bit much.

The blush is quite a dark shade of berry pink but it doesn't look too much on pale cheeks and you can definitely build it up if you have a darker skin tone.
The highlight leaves a really subtle sheen without leaving you looking glittery which is not a good look for anybody.

I love how this palette leaves your skin looking and it has fast turned in to a make up bag must have for me and would be a great product for traveling






I'm very, very good today, this week has been a week of good news and things finally going our way. We started off the week by applying for our new house and then on Wednesday we heard that our application had been successful and we move in around the 10th September. You would not believe how happy this has made us. Our dreams of a nice three bedroom house with a garden for Thomas have finally come true. I am already beginning to pack up our current house as I am so excited.

We are ending the week having found a new car, we are finally making my dad a happy man and following his wishes of having a Picasso, he has been banging on about these cars for so long and David and I come round to the idea of getting one. After our holiday we realised the Punto that we have is getting too small for us and we could do with something bigger, especially if we are planning on having another child in the future.

I'm also really happy with my blog at the minute I have had a really positive couple of weeks with lots of exciting things coming up including a new layout which I am currently having specially made for me which I can not wait to see! I am also really happy with how well my "Blog everyday in August" idea is going down and some lovely ladies have been joining in with me so I would love it if you all check their posts out on the linky below and hopefully you will find some fab blogs to follow.

Recently I have become obsessed with the idea of upcycling furniture especially since "Kirsty's fill your house for free" started. I got the idea to do up an old table we got given to us when we moved in to our flat 4 years ago. I had been wanting to do it up for ages as it was a rubbishy dark brown varnished side table and I decided to do it up in a nice white "shabby chic" sort of style.

So I set to work sanding off all the varnish so that the paint would stick to the table. I then painted it with normal wood paint, as the wood was really dark it took quite a few coats before it was all evenly coated.

I'm pretty impressed with how it looks although I do want to stencil on the top in a light grey but I don't really know what kind of stencil I want, maybe butterflies or birds but I haven't found any that I like yet. I will definitely have a go at another piece of upcycling in the future if I drop on a good piece of furniture that I can do something with.

Have you done any crafty upcycling lately?
About 5 minutes ago or so it seems we bought Thomas his first pair of big boy walking shoes (review here) and we have just had to buy his a new pair or even bigger boy shoes.

I was really impressed with Thomas's first shoes they were really good quality and still had lots of life left in them it's just a shame that Thomas's feet outgrew them so quick. We headed straight back to Clarks to get his feet measured up for the next size and he had grown a whole shoe size! I couldn't believe it I was expecting them say he hadn't grown much.

We decided to go for the Ru Rocks Fst this time. I wanted to get a darker shoe this time as he is wanting to walk a lot more outside and I didn't want them to get really dirty really quick. I love the different textures of the suede and leather and the different shades of blue. These shoes are the next stage up from the other shoes I got and so have a sturdier sole and so make them more suitable for walking outside but without being too rigid for toddlers feet.



Thomas loves his new shoes at first it took him a little time to get use to them with the soles being stiffer but he soon got use to them walking around the shop and trying to get away from mummy. If you are thinking about trying Clarks for your little ones first shoes I would highly recommend them and the staff are always so helpful and were so nice to Thomas.

A part of me feels ashamed to admit this but I absolutely love Geordie Shore! I blame one of my friends Sarah entirely for this as she told me about it once and when I saw it on demand on the TV I decided to watch it and was instantly hooked and caught up on about 4 series over a week whilst I was on my maternity leave.

I've never watched TOWIE or Made in Chelsea I normally hate this type of program but I love it the show has be in stitches every week. The people on the show are just plain vulgar so I hate to admit but I have this on record every week and I wont tire of it anytime soon.
Firstly let me apologise for the crappy photos most were taken on my Iphone.

Our day normally starts around 7am when I get my morning wake up call from Thomas to let me know he's awake. I go and fetch him and bring him in to my bed so that I can wake up properly and we can have a little snuggle.


8:00am-ish Thomas has his breakfast bottle while mummy makes herself a brew and we have a little play until we  have breakfast. Today it was cherrios all round.


Today we went to my nans, Thomas's great gran to visit her and so Thomas could play with his cousins.


After nan's we went we had a couple of errands to run which included going to see my friend for a catch up and then grab a few bits from Tesco's

Tonight Thomas had fish fingers potatoes and peas which he got a little bored of towards the end and then decides to crush and crumble in his hands before scattering it around the floor. This wasn't a very clever idea as mummy made Thomas help with the hoovering.


It wasn't time before it was time to get ready for bed so Thomas has a quick bath and changed in to his PJ's and got "comfy" for his bedtime bottle.


What's that Thomas you aren't tired yet? Thomas and I had a little play before he was tired enough to go to bed and we sat and sung "row row row your boat" "Clap hands daddy comes" and Horsey Horsey don't you stop" I love singing these songs with Thomas because he gets all muddled up and does the wrong actions for the wrong songs it's so cute.


At 8:00pm it was time to Thomas to go to sleep so we had a snuggle and I put him to bed where he lay talking to himself for about 15minutes before it all finally went quiet.

And that was our day done


With the possibility of moving house soon David and I have been purchasing a few new house bits, replacing things that we don't want to take with us. Some of the stuff we have had since we first moved in together 4 years ago so it is about time that we got rid of some of the old stuff.

The thing I am most excited about is for Thomas to have a really nice bedroom. We bought him some wall stickers and a door plaque, as you can tell I'm thinking of doing a jungle theme. I just can't wait for everything to hopefully come together over the next couple of months.

I bet you will all be glad if/when I move so I shut up about it wont you?
Happiness is...
When Thomas shows affection

Just lately Thomas is being so affectionate and I absolutely adore it when we ask him for a kiss he moves towards you with a a big slobbery open mouth and says aww before planting a big kiss on your face. Just lately he has been giving me kisses without being asked if I am sitting on the floor or lying on the settee he will toddle up to me and just give me a kiss and then walk off again it melts my heart every time. 

I just love that he is growing up to be a loving and affectionate little boy. Mind you he has been taught well daddy and I smoother him in kisses daily.

Thomas has also started to be really affectionate to his toys which is super cute he gives his teddies hugs now and he shows his ladybird rocker that he now loves her after not wanting to play with her until recently.


Today I am sharing with you my life goals, I don't have many but they will probably take most of my life to achieve.

Buy our own home.
As soon as we can we are going to start saving for our own home, 
as much as renting suits us for the minute I can't wait until the day we can say we own our own home
Renting isn't the most secure way to live any day your landlord could decide to sell up. 
I just can't wait to have lifelong security.
It will take us a long time to save up a suitable deposit I'm not naive but at least one day we will
be able to say we have done it.

Have a happy home life.
I think this is self explanatory everybody wants a happy home life
I will try my hardest to make sure Thomas always a happy family life.

A career I love
I still don't know what I want to do career wise I am still hoping something will just jump out at me one day. Although in a perfect world I would love to blog for a career but they doesn't
every blogger. 

Be the best parent I can be.
I want to be the parent that all of Thomas's friends think is fab
I always want Thomas to be proud of me, I always want to have a close relationship with him.
I always want him to be able come to me if he ever has any problems no matter what they might be.
I tried to get a nice photo of us both but Thomas just wanted to bop me in the face

I do love my boy so much we have lots of giggles together

I recently realised that I haven't done an update for Thomas for a couple of months now so as he just turned 14 months on the 27th I thought I would do a quick update.




Growth.
The last time we got Thomas weighed he was around 21lb so he is still a little dot compared to others his age but to me it just means I can carry him for longer. Thomas is still mostly in 9-12month clothes although I am trying to start using more 12-18months but some still bury him. 

Eating
Thomas use to be a fab eater like whatever you put in front of him he would eat and wouldn't mess about but just lately he has gone really fussy all his old favourites he just messes about with and throws on the floor. Yet at nursery they say that he pretty much finishes every meal no problem. So I will be working on trying to get him out of this phase.



Sleep
Thomas's sleep is better than ever he sleeps through 99% of the time the occasional time he cries for his dummy back. I can also now but him to bed and leave him to settle himself the only time when this is a bit of a struggle is if he is teething or unwell.  


New tricks
It seems that just lately Thomas is learning how to do something new everyday.
Thomas has perfected his walking now and that is all he wants to do especially when you carry him outside he fights to get out of your arms so he can walk. He also now likes to walk backwards too.
Thomas now climbs the stairs thanks to grandad before he use to sit at the bottom of the stairs and not even think to try and climb the stairs but since grandad looked after him once he now climbs the stairs.
Another trick grandad taught him was to make a "brmmmm" noise when he plays with his cars which is super cute.
When I ask Thomas to fetch me a certain toy 9 times out of 10 he goes straight to it and brings it to me.
Thomas is still in his pointing phase he points to the door as soon as you get him out of the cot and continuously points at everything throughout the day.
Thomas now also waves all the time when you say bye or see you later but I have noticed that he waves more if you just leave him to it and don't ask him to wave.

Speech
Thomas's speech is also coming on nicely, he now says the following
Hi
hiya
muma
dadda
this "dis"
that "dat"
whats this "wa dis"
oh dear "oh dea"

 



My greatest achievement is pretty obvious it is my beautiful son Thomas. The best thing my husband and I ever decided to do was to have a baby. My body then carried this beautiful baby boy for 9 months and I then gave birth to a happy, contented, healthy little boy. I look at him every single day and think WOW how did I manage to create something so beautiful.

Being a parent is also a great achievement I keep this little person safe, healthy, happy, and loved more than anything in the world. Being a parent is a tough job nearly everyday you are faced with something that can challenge you, whether it's getting your child to eat all of their dinner, getting them to go bed at a reasonable time or dealing with that tantrum they have just thrown in a restaurant full of people. It might be tough at times but being a parent is the most rewarding thing you could ever do there is nothing better than a cuddle or your little on giving you a kiss because they want to not because you have asked for one.